


Business as Usual

by Fallingtowardsoblivion



Category: Arthurian Mythology, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Blowjobs, Businessman Arthur, Crossdressing, First Dates, High Heels, Lap Dances, M/M, One Shot, PWP, Pole Dancing, Smut, Strippers & Strip Clubs, etc - Freeform, good fun, good shit, kinda funny, shameless porn, stripper merlin, wrote this shit in one sitting yo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:21:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6437116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallingtowardsoblivion/pseuds/Fallingtowardsoblivion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur always sees his neighbor Merlin when he goes to work, and Merlin to his night-shift. Little did he realize exactly what his neighbor's job actually was...</p><p>Short fic sparked by a song and some group effort!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Business as Usual

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> This is my dirtiest work yet, and I was up until 7:30am writing it because my sleep cycle is all off and I wanted it out of my system! I hope you enjoy. Thanks, Pan, for feeding the monster that created this ;A;
> 
> (Also, unbeta'd, written in the middle of the night, so please take all errors with a grain of salt!)

Arthur's life wasn't particularly interesting or thrilling. He woke up in the morning, he drank half a coffee pot and did the daily crossword in order to get at least somewhat conscious, he would dress in a bland suit and tie and go to work. Every morning, he would mutter a 'hello, late night?' to his neighbor - a young man with messy black hair and brilliant, blue eyes – who just so happened to get in from his night shift at the exact same time Arthur was leaving for his office job.

Then, Arthur would spend a day wishing it was more socially acceptable to bang your head on your desk while he sat through meeting after meeting, listening to his hot-shot CEO father lecture the office and more specifically _Arthur,_ who was never getting good enough statistics for his department's sales. Then Arthur would head home, maybe grabbing an afternoon snack with an associate or old uni-mate.

By the time Arthur got back to his flat, it would be just in time to see his neighbor, Merlin, locking up and heading out to his shift. One time Arthur had asked where he worked, getting a twinkle-eyed response of 'a night club a couple blocks over'.

Arthur didn't particularly enjoy his job choice, though at the same time was rather glad he didn't have to go and work at a night club. It had to be hectic – after all, regardless of the club, everyone would probably be rowdy and _drunk_.

He'd mentioned as much to Merlin one time, in passing, only to get a knowing smirk. "You had no idea, mate."

Arthur figured Merlin was probably right, and he didn't.

 

***

 

"C'mon, it's not like you have anything better to do."

Arthur sighed, looking up from his afternoon stack of papers that he was currently going through, only to find that Gwaine was doing the puppy-eyes. Damn Gwaine, and his puppy-eyes.

"For the last time, Gwaine. Get Leon to do it. Or even better, go with Percy. Make it a date." Arthur sighed, putting down the crisp sheet of paper in his hand and leaning back in his chair.

"Percy went with me yesterday," Gwaine said, flipping his hair. "Besides, Leon and Percy _already_ are coming. As well as Elyan. The whole gang's going except for you. C'mon, Arthur, we never see you outside of the office -"

Arthur opened his mouth to protest, after all, he had gone to the pub and gotten absolutely shit-faced not a month ago. But Gwaine shushed him, holding up a sassy finger, and continued speaking. "Please? You said yourself that you've never been to one."

"And I don't particularly want to." Arthur retorted, even as he felt his will receding. When Gwaine wanted something, he got it. Eventually. He was just a bastard like that.

"You don't want to only because you haven't been. _Please_? For me? If not for me, at least go so you can say for sure you never want to again?"

Arthur sighed, leaning forward in his chair. "If I say yes, and go, and decide I don't in fact like it, then will you never bother you about it again?"

A shit-eating grin was already growing on the other man's face, making Arthur immediately regret the words that had left his mouth. Gwaine flipped his hair gracefully, standing back from where he had been leaning on Arthur's desk. "I promise. No more bugging about going to a nudie bar after this."

Arthur sighed, rubbing his eyes, and nodded. "Alright then, it's a deal."

Gwaine gave a triumphant smile, sticking out his hand to shake.

Arthur took it, not nearly as enthusiastic as the other man. Though of course, Gwaine just so happened to have the sex drive of a – actually, Arthur didn't even know what had such a high drive. The only appropriate statement would be that Gwaine had the sex drive of a Gwaine.

Well, whatever it was, Gwaine was quite obviously pleased, and Arthur was beginning to wonder if he should get himself a new set of friends or not.

"We're meeting at mine at 10!" Gwaine shouted over as he ran back to work, his break having ended five minutes ago. Arthur startled, looking up in time to see the other man's figure receding.

Yeah. He needed new friends. He definitely needed new friends.

 

***

 

The strip club Gwaine had dragged them to, _The Rising Sun_ , was much more respectable than Arthur had ever expected a strip club, let alone one that _Gwaine_ frequented, to be. The drinks were pricey, the music just this side of deafening and that side of sexual, the air was smoky and heavy with some sickly-sweet freshener.

The room was dominated by a central stage in the shape of some abstract, curvy form, accommodating the two poles reaching from the ceiling.

"Over here, do you have your one's?" Gwaine asked, looking like a kid in a candy shop. A perverted, hairy kid. He dragged Arthur over, making him sit between Leon and a blushy Lance. Elyan was at the bar, along Percy. 

Arthur vaguely wished he was at the bar too, and almost said as much, turning around to face Gwaine. But of course, as soon as he sat Arthur down, Gwaine promptly ran off with a stripper. Of course. Not even five minutes there and he was getting a lap dance.

Arthur was going to turn to Leon, a complaint and eye-roll right on the tip of his tongue, only he'd finally gotten around to looking at the stage, and, well -

Arthur swallowed, his eyes wide, as he watched a large, bulky man gracefully do things to the pole in front of them that, as far as Arthur was concerned, defied _gravity_.

Looking over, Leon and Lance were similarly captivated.

Suddenly, Arthur decided that this was much less horrible than he had originally considered. After another dancer cycled through, Arthur decided that he didn't have nearly as many complaints as he originally did, and instead sat back and decided he would enjoy the show, sipping on his soda rather contently.

Arthur was doing just that – sipping his drink and carefully imagining his old tutor Gaius butt-naked every so often to remind his dick that he was still in public - when the fifth dancer came out.

He was thin, but in a toned way more than skinny, muscles working under porcelain skin in the flashing lights as he slinked onto the stage, body swaying in a fluid, sensual manner.

He was Arthur's type – lean, tall, pale, black hair. He sat up, putting his drink down and immediately leaning forward, putting his chin on his hand as he watched the man's toned ass move through the spandex, sinful golden 'shorts' he was clad in. Then he turned around, and Arthur got a good look at his face, the full, pouty lips, thick black lashes, sharp cheekbones –

Arthur sputtered, choking on nothing, and nearly spilling his drink in his startled flailing.

His face immediately turned an awful shade of pink, and Lance began to pat his back (probably assuming Arthur had choked on his untouched drink) while Leon raised an eyebrow.

"You alright, mate?" He shouted over the music. Arthur faintly nodded, breathing slowly in an attempt to stop his poor little heart from giving out all together.

"Y - yeah. Just – just saw something I wasn't expecting..." He stuttered out, immediately deciding that he was going to have to move. Tomorrow. No, tonight. He had to leave before Merlin got back from his shift. Or, better yet, he could just light the whole apartment complex on fire, therefore destroy all evidence of him ever living there -

Leon shrugged, turning back to watch the dancer – Merlin – while Lance finally stopped patting Arthur, instead announced he needed to use the bathroom.

Arthur, in the meantime, had resolutely continued to stare at the stack of ones in front of him in a manner that suggested that they owed him money, or maybe killed his cat.

No matter what, he was _not_ going to look up, he _was_ not, not now, not until after the dancers changed again, and definitely _not right now_ –

Arthur looked up before his brain could tell him exactly how much of a Fucking Bad Idea it was to look up, just in time to see Merlin crawling from the pole furthest from him, a couple ones sticking out of his shorts, over to the pole _right in front of him._

His mouth opened on its own, and for a moment Arthur contemplated hiding in the bathroom for the rest of his life, but then he was making eye contact with Merlin, who was raising an inquisitive brow, a playful smirk growing on his face. And Arthur really should be looking away, ashamed, or something, but he was captivated, and Merlin was standing up, and somehow making it sexy? Who stood up sexy? Merlin fucking did, that’s who –

His thumbs went to hook at the edge of those sinful shorts, even as the stripper began to strut around the stage, playfully reaching an arm out to lean off of the pole.

The song changed, and Merlin’s face changed from playful to Bedroom Eyes.

 And Jesus, it was doing _things_ to Arthur.

Merlin seemed to know this, because he was hooking a leg around the pole, looking straight at Arthur, smirking again, before lifting himself up and beginning to spin.

“My lord,” Leon murmured from beside Arthur, his eyes trailed on where Merlin was currently working his shorts off _while on the pole_. And Arthur had to agree, even if he did feel a sharp wave of – jealousy? Which was absurd, because Merlin was just his neighbor, and Leon was his mate –

Before he even knew what he was doing, Arthur was tossing a one out in front of him, eyes wide and trailed on Merlin’s descending form.

The stripper dismounted the pole, swinging his golden shorts lazily from his hand, wearing now only a bright red g-string with, of all things, a golden dragon on the front. Arthur had to swallow, and faintly thought about maybe not so openly staring, but then Merlin was quirking his eyebrow again, eyeing the bill in front of Arthur, running his hands up his sides even as he strutted over  to where the businessman was seated.

“This bill yours?” Merlin purred, crouching down in front of Arthur, fingers glazing over the note, eyes looking at him from under long lashes.

Arthur swallowed, nodding, and Merlin gave a rather pleased smile at that, getting on his knees and crawling forward and grabbing Arthur’s hands. Then, he guided them up his sides, and Arthur nearly died from equal amounts of embarrassment and arousal, even though he was only touching the man’s bloody ribs.

As if reading his thoughts, Merlin scooted closer, close enough that he was able to guide Arthur’s hands to his ass –

And then he was pulling away, crawling back to the pole, collecting a couple more notes before leaving the stage.

Arthur, in the meantime, felt absolutely ravished.

He watched Merlin, his bumbling, goofy neighbor _Merlin_ , retreat, ones in hand.

Then he finally looked up, only to find Leon and Lance nowhere to be found. He frowned, looking around, and found them a moment later at the bar, talking with Gwaine. Arthur colored a bit at this, hoping he wasn’t going to get as mercilessly picked on for what had just happened as he expected he would.

Ignoring the next stripper, Arthur got up, having to adjust his pants and thinks adamantly about Gaius naked. He took a step towards the bar, intent on joining his mates and avoiding any thought of Merlin –

Only, one of the workers, a built man with an army buzz-cut and a fitting suit on, stopped him. “Your dance is waiting in the VIP room.”

Arthur frowned. “My dance? I didn’t pay for a dance.”

The guy shrugged. “Compliments, I suppose. Someone picked up the tab, said to pull you aside. If I were you, I wouldn’t let it go to waste.”

Arthur’s eyebrows rose, startled. Who in the hell would pay for a –

Gwaine.

Arthur snorted, but decided that he wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, and that he could reprimand his friend later for being so bloody _obnoxious_.

The worker lead Arthur to the room, ushering him into a booth with –

Merlin.

“God have mercy…” Arthur whispered, and Merlin looked up at him from where he had been sitting, his skin a pale shade of lavender in the soft purple and pink lighting of the room. He had changed, now wearing a see-through lilac blouse and more tight, spandex shorts – only this time they were light silver. Up close Arthur could see that his eyes had a light layer of shimmery, opaque shadow on them.

Arthur decidedly nearly died, then, and the dance hadn’t even started.

 _God_.

But then Merlin was getting up, running a seductive hand up Arthur’s arm, and murmuring, “Now how about you have a seat, _Arthur_?”

Oh god. Yeah. Merlin definitely recognized him.

Arthur contemplated making a run for it, or just giving in and enjoying the moment because after all it was going to be awkward tomorrow no matter what –

The businessman finally decided on the second option, letting himself be lead towards the chair, Merlin’s hands running lightly over his chest and arms before finally shoving him down onto the seat.

Arthur’s mouth went dry, then, and Merlin gave him a dark, hungry look, fingers working at the buttons fastening his see-through blouse –

 

***

 

Twenty minutes later, Arthur reemerged from the VIP room looking absolutely wrecked. Merlin came out a moment after, looking for all the world pleased as punch.

Arthur approached where his mates were at the bar, running a hand through his hair before muttering, ‘thanks for the dance,’ to Gwaine.

The brunette gave him an odd look. “I didn’t pay for that one, mate.”

Arthur opened his mouth to say that yes, he definitely did, because who else would buy Arthur a dance with _Merlin_ , but just as he did his hand felt into his pocket and grazed across a piece of paper –

Arthur frowned, pulling it out, unfolding the note.

All it had was a number, and the words ‘DINNER?’ written on it.

Arthur startled, his brain stopping for a moment, before his head shot up, eyes searching for Merlin’s. Only, the stripper was nowhere to be found, having already gone backstage.

 

***

 

It took Arthur a week to call Merlin’s number. Or, more specifically, it took a week for him to fuck up his plan to avoid Merlin _forever_.

He had been very careful, looking out the peephole of his flat before leaving, making sure Merlin wasn’t in the hall. Not that Arthur was being uncharacteristically cowardly but – but yeah.

He couldn’t face his neighbor.

So, he avoided him. And it worked smashingly for all of seven day, right until he got into the elevator to head upstairs around midday, right in time for Merlin to slip in beside him.

Arthur stared for a moment, his brain helpfully _shutting down_ at the sight of the (fully clothed, yet still unbelievably gorgeous) man next to him.

Merlin quirked a brow, smirking, before saying. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Arthur managed to squeak out a reply that sounded vaguely like words. Merlin snorted, fondly, before leaning in front of the businessman and pressing their floor number.

“I’m assuming you’re going to the sixth?”

Arthur mutely nodded.

Merlin smiled, then, something much warmer than any he had worn at the club, giving Arthur a soft nudge. “So tell me, lover-boy. Did you find my note in your pocket or run your pants through the wash before getting it?”

Arthur stuttered at this, feeling like a bloody school boy being put on the spot by his crush.

“Er – I found it, actually –“ He managed to get out, averting his eyes.

Merlin nodded at this, sighing. “Well, I suppose the offer still stands, if you ever change your mind.”

Arthur blinked.

“Y- you mean you actually meant it?”

Merlin gave him a disbelieving look, then, making Arthur feel quite stupid. Of course he meant it. He gave Arthur a free god damn lap dance, had slipped his number into Arthur’s pocket –

“Er, stupid question, isn’t it?”

“Correct,” Merlin said, that coy look back on his face. “But I’ll let you off this one time because you're cute.”

Just then the elevator dinged, doors sliding open. The pair got off, and Merlin pulled out his room keys.

“You know where to find me if you ever change your mind, though.” He said, pinning Arthur with those electric blue eyes, giving one last grin before going inside his flat.

The businessman was left standing there, feeling wrecked.

 

***

 

Friday they had dinner.

Arthur took Merlin to a quaint Italian restaurant, expertly picking the wine because his father had been a stickler when it came to things such as ‘taste’ being instilled in his children, and Merlin had poked fun at the way Arthur had to smell the liquid before drinking it.

Merlin talked about his childhood spent in a small town in the countryside called Ealdor, and how he came to London in his late teens in an attempt to find freedom. Soon enough he had gotten a job at a gay night club, using his tips as a bartender to pay his way through part-time online classes.

He was majoring in nursing, Arthur soon found, and only four years younger than Arthur – who already had a degree in Business and Finance.

Soon enough Merlin had figured out that being a stripper paid much better, as well as kept him in shape (something that Arthur couldn’t help but agree with).  So of course, being _Merlin_ , he had invested in a pole, set up in the bedroom, and a month later got a job at _Rising Sun_.

Arthur smiled at this, and at Merlin, something genuine and admiring, because he loved the idea of someone who was so careful yet determined, and who would just ‘go do it’.

It was refreshing, a glass of cool water.

And god, Arthur was going to drink his fill.

Merlin turned at that moment, smiling back, seeming to agree.

 

***

 

Arthur had Merlin pushed up against the elevator wall, mouth insistent and hot against the other man’s, groaning as Merlin shoved his tongue against his. He groped blindly, nearly breaking the kiss as he tried to press their floor number. Merlin grabbed his arse, pulling Arthur to slot against him.

“Ah – Who’s  f-flat?” He managed to gasp out. Merlin didn’t even open his eyes, only drawing back enough to murmur _trust me, you'll love mine_.

Arthur was too far gone to protest, and scarcely even separated from the younger man when the elevator dinged. Thankfully, their hallway was deserted.

A moment later and Merlin was scrambling with his keys, fumbling them as Arthur nipped at his neck. Then the door was opening, and they were inside, and Merlin was pushing Arthur against the back of the door even as it slammed shut, teeth gnawing on his bottom lip, hands running under his shirt, moving lower to palm his –

Arthur groaned, a Merlin gave a soft chuckle, pulling back.

“Merlin?” The businessman opened his eyes, watching as Merlin, looking as ravished as Arthur felt, walked backwards, turning to go down the hallway and further into the flat.

“Just a moment, get comfortable on the sofa or help yourself to a drink. Trust me!” He yelled over his shoulder, retreating into what Arthur presumed to be the bedroom.

Arthur swallowed past the sudden dryness in his throat, adjusting his rumpled clothing, deciding he would grab something from the fridge.

Five minutes and half a can of grape soda later, and the bedroom door was swinging open.

“About time –“ Arthur said, the smirk freezing on his face when he looked up.

Because there, in the doorway, looking like he was ready to eat Arthur alive, was Merlin.

…only, he was wearing what Arthur presumed to be one of his outfits: velvet high-waisted hot pants, over the knee socks and deep red high heels.

It did… _things_ to Arthur.

Merlin seemed to know this too, because he quirked an eyebrow, before murmuring:

“Your private dance is this way, sir.”

Arthur put his soda down, following Merlin into the bedroom.

Merlin grabbed his hand and led the businessman to the bed, running a hand down his front and pulling off his tie before pushing Arthur down onto the mattress.

“Be a good boy and stay here, will you?” Merlin purred, backing up out of Arthur’s space and instead moving to the pole that was, of fucking _course_ , set up at the foot of the bed.

Because Merlin was a stripper. Who had a pole at the end of his bed. Of course.

Not that Arthur was complaining. Actually, he was about the exact opposite of complaining, his eyes hungrily taking in Merlin as he agilely spun around the pole, looking a million times hotter than before (something Arthur didn’t even think possible – though evidently it was).

The heels though. God, those really did him in.

The wait became agonizing, and Merlin seemed to sense it too, because he finally, finally came over to Arthur, as though to fall into his embrace, only –

Arthur groaned, throwing his head back as Merlin ground his ass into the businessman’s crotch, the fabric between the pair too much, Arthur’s hard-on only filling more at the contact.

Merlin turned around, a quick motion that left him straddling Arthur, his own hardness evident as he rutted against the older man. Arthur groaned, reaching up and drawing Merlin down for a bruising kiss, digging his hands into Merlin’s back as the younger man kept up his steady movement.

Soon enough, they both were panting messes, and Merlin began to paw at the buttons of Arthur’s shirt, muttering about ‘too much – not enough of you’, which Arthur just so happened to fully agree with.

He stripped, and Merlin in turn dragged those shorts down too, leaving the stripper in only the heels, which just so happened to drive Arthur crazy. Merlin groaned, grabbing Arthur’s cock in his hand and giving a couple languid strokes which left Arthur panting and breathless.

“Well, sir?” Merlin whispered in a husky voice, running his other hand up and down Arthur’s bare chest. “How would you like me?”

Arthur nearly came at the statement. Instead, through a sheer force of will power, he held back, flipping the pair before kissing his way down Merlin’s body, his hands running over ever last inch of his skin, until his mouth stopped inches from his cock, lips mouthing at the inside of his thigh.

Merlin groaned from above, his fingers knotting in Arthur’s hair.

The businessman stopped for a moment, waiting unit Merlin looked down at his in dazed confusion, before giving him a wicked grin and swallowing him whole.

Merlin gasped and moaned, panting, legs kicking and ankles finally crossing behind Arthur.

Arthur tasted the precum on his lips soon enough, and abruptly pulled back, pleased to see how much of a whimpering mess he’d turn Merlin into.

He paused, giving the other man’s head one last lick before crawling back up to capture his mouth.

A few moments later and Arthur was pulling back. “Where do you keep - ?”

“Top drawer. Left side.” Merlin gasped out, eyes only half open, lids droopy with lust.

Arthur nodded, quickly grabbing the half-empty bottle and squirting some onto his fingers.

He made quick work of preparing Merlin, making sure the stripper could take three fingers before looking at him, waiting for permission. Merlin snorted, rolling his eyes, and whining, “Put it in already, you prat.”

And well, Arthur could never deny such a courteous request, now could he?

They both groaned as Arthur entered the stripper, Merlin’s eyes closing as Arthur waited to adjust. His breathing was shallow, puffed out, face a mixture of pleasure and concentration. A moment later, and he was nodding his head.

“Move, now, dammit!”

Arthur complied.

Soon enough the bed was shaking, headboard clacking against the wall, Merlin letting out high pitched moans as Arthur found the spot inside of him that set off pure pleasure.

Soon enough, though, Arthur was cumming, his thrusts growing erratic, his hand reaching down to pull at Merlin’s cock until the man underneath him shuddered and came too.

Arthur collapsed, limp, partially on Merlin. They both laid there for a bit, sweat and cum cooling on their skin, before finally Arthur spoke.

“You know, I like the heels.”

Merlin snorted, opening an eye before dragging Arthur into a cuddling embrace. “No shit, you do.”

Arthur smiled at this, ignoring how gross his body was, and instead letting himself relax into the embrace.

Faintly, as he fell asleep, Arthur had the realization that his life had just gotten a whole lot more interesting.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I may be going to hell, but you just finished this, so I'll be glad to see you there. 
> 
> Nah jk, but really, I hope you enjoyed it. Er, this was my first PWP, so please be gentle.


End file.
